Being Flexible

sweaters, jeans & bootsToday is kind of a special day. I mean its not the most special day in the next few days… but its pretty symbolic.

Last year started out how most days had those last few weeks. At least by US standards, maternity leave in California is pretty decent. A year ago today, I’d already been off for a few days shy of the 4 week-leave you get prior to your due date. I woke up around 9ish, snuggled with my hubs, made us some breakfast, kissed-him as he left to work, binge watched some TV, took a really long walk, soaked in a hot bath, took a really long nap, watched some more TV, made a tuna melt for dinner and enjoyed some Millionaire Matchmaker with my husband. The day was coming to a close, and I was doing my nightly routine, wash-face, brush-teeth, go pee… and since I was pregnant go pee again… and again. And then again… or wait… was that pee? No that wasn’t pee. Turns out around 11:30 that night, a year ago today, my water broke.

And that was not included in my birth-plan. You see, while movies and television shows would have you believe a large-gush of water is always the first sign of childbirth, that’s not actually how it goes. First of all, your water breaking is almost never a gush… its really more a trickle… a trickle that you very well might confuse with pee. But most importantly, typically, your water breaks well into child-birth. Chances are you’re already in the hospital after having several hours of contractions and are at least a few cm dilated.

So yeah, my water breaking first, was NOT part of my laboring at home, all-natural, no drugs birth-plan.

And before I go any further, let me give you a little background information on moi…

I am a teensy bit controlling. And a whole lotta bit determined. For most of my life, I’ve been pretty good at getting what I want. Not so much in the “Buy me a God Damn Pony, Poppa” kind of way. But more in the “I want to move to New York… or California” or the “I want that job” or the “I will find those boots for half price on eBay” kind of way.

So as you might imagine, when I got pregnant, I had a lot of “plans” about parenthood and child-birth. I was going to have a 100% natural child-birth, no drugs, I would never so much as let my child taste formula, our baby would sleep in his crib and never in our bed, our relationship with our dog would never change, my husband and I would make date night a priority… blah blah blah.

But a year ago today, I got my first taste in the unexpected that is basically the only constant in parenthood. Over the next 25 hours, pretty much everything I had listed in my “birth-plan” changed. And over the last year, I’ve had to learn to be more flexible and adaptable than I knew was possible. Some of those adjustments have been heart-breaking, while others have been a blessing.

In addition to being determined, I’ve also always been kind of a know-it-all. But I guess when it comes to being a parent, you kind of have to embrace that until it actually happens to you and your child, you don’t know anything. You don’t know what you’ll do, you don’t know how you’ll react, you just don’t know. And you “know” what, that’s totally OK because you’re in pretty good company.

So today, one year ago, while my son wouldn’t be born for another 25 hours, I started my journey in parenthood. And quite appropriately in fact, it started by going not according to plan. And that’s perfectly OK.

And in case you want to just want to know what I’m wearing 😉

Sweater: Banana Republic (exact)
Jeans: Old Navy Rockstar (similar)
Boots: Kork-Ease Michelle booties (exact)
Necklace: Madewell (exact)

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